Willpower is a Skill

As I sit here on the evening of the tenth day of a ten-day juice fast, I am reminded of how a few of my friends said to me during the fast that they knew that I "had the willpower" to do this, or that what I'm doing "takes a lot of willpower" or "I could never do that."

The first thing I wanted to do was to protest: "I don't have more willpower than anyone else!" But as I considered it more, this thought came to mind: "Willpower is a skill." Like all skills, the self-confidence you need to break with habit and do something difficult or different is a skill that anyone can learn, practice, and improve.

We all hate failure because it can take a big bite out of our self-confidence and self-worth when we try something and fail. So many of us try to stay in our comfort zone where things are safe and predictable and understood. Keeping on doing what you've always done isn't hard, even when it's sad or disappointing.

But sometimes an opportunity or challenge comes along that forces us to reconsider what we've been doing and to try something different. Will we shrink from this opportunity or challenge, or will we risk our self image and comfort and take it on?

That answer is based on your track record. Have you stretched yourself and grown in the past and done it successfully? Have you set your mind to something and accomplished it? Have you put your desires in their place and put off momentary pleasure for a long-term goal?

If the answers to those questions are often "no," then it is unlikely that you intentionally take on new challenges. So what to do about it? Train your willpower like it's a skill.

Write down small, easily-attainable goals and put a time limit on them. Pick goals that you are confident you can accomplish and cross them off your list as you succeed. Don't pick something too big or something too small, but something that takes a tiny bit of effort and has some meaning to you. For example, I challenged a coaching client with this task, and he wrote down a goal of washing the car at least once a week, which was something important to his wife but that he was bad about doing.

This might seem like a mundane or silly exercise, but we have to start small in order to build momentum and to avoid an early failure that can drain your resolve. To build your confidence and willpower write down those small goals, accomplish them, cross them off your list, and reward yourself. In doing so, you will start to instill a confidence in yourself that when you set your mind and heart to do something, you will follow through.

As you increase the difficulty of the challenges you place before yourself and succeed, you learn to trust yourself, and trusting yourself is a huge part of the mysterious force known as willpower. In time when you are faced with a new opportunity or challenge, you may find yourself saying, "Hey, I can do that!"