The most difficult habits or attitudes to change are those that
we have developed as coping mechanisms to help us bear tremendous pain, loss, or
abuse. Choosing a new way, a new path,
or a new habit to replace those coping mechanisms that no longer serve us is
like pulling out a piece of our foundation and replacing it. Even if that piece
of foundation is rotten or crumbling and thus causing the house of our lives to
be cracked and off-balance, it is a monumental undertaking.It takes more than knowledge, more than willpower, more than an emotional push to change our foundational habits and beliefs, even when we've realized they no longer serve us. It takes something that, due to those deep hurts, losses, and abuse in our past, we may not have in abundance: faith in ourselves. While we may, in general, have good self-worth or positive self-esteem, in our wounded area we might see ourselves as weak, bad, or broken. If we do not challenge and slowly change those limiting beliefs, we will not find the strength we need to effect sustainable changes that will enable us to live healthier, happier, and better-adjusted lives.
This is personal for me, as I am facing one of those challenges now, and I would appreciate any positive thoughts and/or prayers you would be inclined to send my way. This is likely my hardest challenge, and one I have not been successful in achieving in the past. May today be the day that I can look back to and say, "That is when I began a change that has finally undone the damage I suffered in the past, whether by my hand or by others, and started on the road to health, happiness, and peace." I wish the same for you as well. Namaste.
There are a number of guiding questions that can be useful here that you may like to consider. 1) What is important about this to you? What will you now get to experience as a result of this change? 2) What will you accept as evidence that you have been successful in achieving this?
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Keith! You always give your readers much to ponder.
Those are excellent questions to help frame the process of change. I think the answer to question two is especially important when it comes to "achievement" goals.
DeleteI categorize my written goals into Ongoing Goals and Achievement Goals. Ongoing goals are usually lifestyle changes (such as cutting down on sugar), whereas achievement goals (such as losing 5 pounds) have clearly-marked bulls eye at the end.
Your questions are not only important to answer before you start a new goal, but also to review when we lose focus about why a goal is important, what we hope to achieve, and how we know when we have achieved it.
Thanks for your thoughts, Angelena.
thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Feel free to add to the discussion. :)
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