A couple of people I care about very much are, for now and perhaps forever, out of my life. Both losses, oddly enough, happened recently. One woman I have known over two and a half years, and the other for only a month or so. It is some consolation that these diverging of paths was not actually because of anything I did, or any failure of character or action, but because of personal issues over which I have no control, understanding, or say. I trust that each has good reasons for the choices and life decisions she has made.
While their loss pains me, there is also a part of me that is starting to feel somewhat liberated. There is an energy – or at least a spark of motivation – that arises from the ashes of letting go of trying to nurture a connection that isn’t, for whatever reason, working. Wrong person, wrong time, whatever. And while I do certainly hope that I can be friends with these women again someday, this moment of forced clarity has given me the impetus to move on emotionally and to begin to invest in other aspects of my life that are lacking and need attending.
What I struggle with now is that just at the time in my life when such friendships have become precious to me, and I have seen the need to expand and develop my social connections, I find myself somewhat isolated by the loss of these dear people and the resulting down time I need for healing and reflection. As a result, I must find new ways to connect with people, and perhaps find a friend and/or lover from who it is the right time and place, and for whom I am the right man.
It is the season of thanks, and I am thankful for, as odd as it sounds, a wonderful and amazing brain chemistry and the many great teachers who helped me forge an attitude and life view that always, without fail, leads me to health, balance, and peace. And I am thankful for those friends, near and far, with whom I am not merely an tourist in their hearts, but who have granted me honorary citizenship. Thank you!
While their loss pains me, there is also a part of me that is starting to feel somewhat liberated. There is an energy – or at least a spark of motivation – that arises from the ashes of letting go of trying to nurture a connection that isn’t, for whatever reason, working. Wrong person, wrong time, whatever. And while I do certainly hope that I can be friends with these women again someday, this moment of forced clarity has given me the impetus to move on emotionally and to begin to invest in other aspects of my life that are lacking and need attending.
What I struggle with now is that just at the time in my life when such friendships have become precious to me, and I have seen the need to expand and develop my social connections, I find myself somewhat isolated by the loss of these dear people and the resulting down time I need for healing and reflection. As a result, I must find new ways to connect with people, and perhaps find a friend and/or lover from who it is the right time and place, and for whom I am the right man.
It is the season of thanks, and I am thankful for, as odd as it sounds, a wonderful and amazing brain chemistry and the many great teachers who helped me forge an attitude and life view that always, without fail, leads me to health, balance, and peace. And I am thankful for those friends, near and far, with whom I am not merely an tourist in their hearts, but who have granted me honorary citizenship. Thank you!
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