Damned Dementia

The fragility of the human mind really gets to me sometimes. I work with elders, and see these strong, capable, intelligent people, who have committed no crime other than longevity, be betrayed by the very organ that makes all meaningful human experience possible: the brain.

Many individuals are fine in each moment, but with a damaged short-term memory, are disconnected from what happened 30 minutes ago and what is to come. Time and time again they attempt to adjust to their environment and relate to information and experiences presented by their loved ones—people who often have trouble understanding that grandma or granddad has been unplugged from the normal flow of past, present, and future.
The past, present, and future are still real, of course, but without persistent memory, there is no bridge to connect them. I imagine it might be something like those few moments when you are woken up unexpectedly, unsure of where you are or what time it is. Your eyes dart around the room looking for the familiar. You think hard, waiting for your mind to save you, to fill in the void with the warm flow of familiar memories. And, in mere moments, it does. You relax and go about your day.

But for those suffering from memory impairment, the mind does not rescue. You struggle and search and wait. But you are disconnected. What did I have for breakfast? Who is this person in my room? Where is my husband? Why are people moving and stealing my things and messing with me?

My hope is two-fold. The first is that continued medical research will someday find a way to prevent this profound loss. The second is that in the meantime we are kind and gentle and understanding to those who suffer from cognitive loss.

Hierarchy of Sexual Activity?

If sex is about intimacy and pleasure (and not procreation), there is no hierarchy of sexual activity. Does the activity promote intimacy and pleasure? Good, enjoy each other without judgment. The last thing you need to take to bed with you is a bundle of social mores or self-limiting expectations that don’t serve you or your partner.